2024 ends, 2025 begins
-reflections and plans for the new year
It all started on a windy evening in 2024. I had stepped out to get dinner, walking the twenty-minute distance while listening to a random playlist. Eventually, I arrived at Mr. Spicy’s—the best place to get suya in my entire school. I ran into a friend, or rather a sister of a friend, and after the interaction, I realized something profound: maybe I had ‘mystery girl’d’ too close to the sun. I couldn’t reconcile people’s perspectives of me with who I thought I was—or at least, who I presented myself as.
For a long time, I’ve felt shyness holding my hand, speeding up my heart in my chest. But this year, I’m finally ready to let it go.
In 2024, I thought I would be consistent with posting on Substack. For one, I love writing out my thoughts. I also enjoy sharing those thoughts on media sites where I feel comfortable and, I’ve wanted a blog since I was nine years old. I remember being in Year Seven and making a post for my WordPress site about my favorite songs at that time (It was T-pain’s ‘best love song’) But in 2024, I made only one upload. That’s where liking something got me.
I forgive the shyness now because I forgive all of me. I realize now that it takes more than liking something to stick to it. Commitment is a big part of this journey. So, in 2025, you’ll be seeing me a lot more. I can’t promise anything serious, but at the very least, this is now a situationship.
Being “mysterious” was a big part of my identity this year. It was my bio for about two of my social media accounts, which were, of course, private. But for the new year, I’m out.
The past year was full of many things. To cut the long story short: I’m friends with the funniest people alive, and you should all be jealous. My friends carried me this year. Many times, when I could no longer see myself, I had to put down the mirror and the stick. I allowed myself to be held, and it did wonders for me.
I also started walking and exercising regularly in 2024. Walks are great. Amazing. Beautiful. On some days, I walk twice a day, getting to see both the sunrise AND sunset. Walking made me feel grateful, which, in turn, brought me a sense of ease with everything happening in my life.
In 2021, I used to hate moving my body—reasons rooted in fear and stubbornness that only frustrated me. In three years, I’ve changed a lot. I’m not where I want to be yet in terms of self-acceptance, but I’m doing a lovely job.
In 2024, I did hard things. I didn’t give up, even though I was often at my limit (11 months in school this year is enough explanation for any sort of mental breakdown). I drew strength from God because, truly, my own reserve ran out by July.
My most transformative month this year was September. My people have a saying: “Na the time person wake be their own good morning.” I achieved things for myself and healed wounds that had been hurting since January, all in the span of three months. It would be a lie to say it wasn’t cumulative work. As I said before, I did hard things. I waited for the light, and now it’s really bright.
In 2025, I feel like I’m going in prepared. I spent a long time hiding under the guise of being mysterious when, in reality, I was just really scared. My theme song for the year is “I’m Coming Out” by Diana Ross. I’m breaking free from the mystery, if you may. I’m still scared, but I’m doing it anyway. Now, there’s clarity and light in many parts of my life.
Finally, I’ll share my plans for this page. I already hinted at this in my intro post, but this year I’ll be talking about all the things that interest me: music, books, society, politics—all of it. I don’t have it all figured out, but I know more than I did the beginning of the year, which is a big deal.
My loves, I pray your new year is beautiful. I pray you experience joy, peace, and ease always. I pray you never stop doing the things you love. In all things, lead with love, create what you wish existed and I’ll see you in the new year.
P.S. I’m going to write a short story in the new year. Dropping this here for accountability—and I will update regularly. Kk bye, I love you.